I can't remember the last time I was in a competition. When I was really young, I joined a singing competition and I won. I remembered how much I wanted to beat that kid who sang Beatles. And me, singing a sappy song by Siti Nurhaliza.

I won.

And every year in Secondary school, every year, I participated in at least 2 competitions. I had a feeling deep inside that I liked winning, being the best. The feeling of winning of winning was always euphoric deep inside.

Now I'm in Poly. There was only two competitions that I participated in. Dragonboat and debate. That's it. I never realised how little I put my hand at things.

Then I realised, everyday is a competition. To look at things in a wider angle, being better than your classmates is a competition. Being better than whomever, is a competition itself. It doesn't necessarily need a sign-up sheet.

Competition for one's feeling is tedious, and hectic. I hate it. But I like you. And I don't expect a throwdown, but if I have to, I will.

Even though it seems like I'm competeting with someone who is just playing with your heart or just someone who would fuck and run, it would take a lot of me to convince you still because somehow, along the way, your feelings are still with him.

Maybe he came around first. Maybe he said hello first. But will he last, that is a question of which the answer is never sure.

I like you. I really really do. And I always win competitions. Trust.

Labels: Deep Thoughts

The ironic thing about my Dad sending me to the doctor's to get my cough (heavy cough at that) checked was not really for me to get better.

Because of my cough, my parents couldn't sleep at night. Hah. Get me to the doctor's to shut me up, thanks Dad. Hah.

Dad sent me to an old family doctor that I have not visit since I was in primary school So much so my name was no longer in their database. It was the same doctor that my late grandfather would always go for consultation.

Whenever I visited Eunos, I'd get a series of memories flashing right through my eyes.

There's a whole list, trust me.

But whatever it maybe, it's always something close to my heart. While I was talking to the clerk, she called out a name. I swear, it's one of those "ah-ha" moments that you really can't forget.

"Haji Sulaiman", she called out.

At that moment, i felt so scared if it was my grandfather but at the same time, I wanted it to be him.

When i turned around, it wasn't him.

I was sad, like instantenously. I felt like I was a child, hoping his late grandfather would just appear out of nowhere. I was close to tears. Regardless, I snapped out of it and went in to see Dr. Tahir.

It's been ages. Doctor got older, and he looks frail, far from what he used to be last time. If I could recall, he was fit and energized all the time. He's still fit for his age, but he moved a little bit slower.

Thinking about it now, it hit me.

I'm so young, freshly nineteen. I'm still so weak and doing so little fruitful things in my life. I need a change from the mundane.

I need a life, to be honest. If a doctor can live his childhood dreams to help people, why can't I live my dreams too?

Whatever it may be, I don't want to do something with my life that I don't want. I want to be happy. I want everyone I love to be happy.

Oh well, I have to work hard. Only time will tell.

As reported on Twitter (follow me) Dr. Tahir was superfast. He gave me cough syrup, anti-biotics and pills for my phlegm. I swear, I'm thankful that there's no paracentamol (panadol, for short).

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Family, Health, Personal

And the year before.

Hari Raya Aidiladha (or simply called Haji,) was celebrated today. The day talked about sacrifice. During the sermon in the morning at the Mosque, the Imam asked, "what have you sacrificed?

Personally for me, I think I sacrificed a lot of my time for people. That I really love. I think this year was the year I think I spent my time the most with people that I really care for rather than trying to accomplish something for myself.

Somehow, sacrifice can't be easy, with daily struggles, both huge and small, we begin to wonder.

Are the things I'm sacrificing for, worth it? My time, my energy...?

Well, to each his own, but what I can say is that when you are going to sacrifice something, be it time, money, energy, etcetera, do it with a positive attitude, hopefully the result will be awesome for you.

Last year, I sacrificed my pride. I opened up to my friends in hopes of bridging gaps between us, to make a stronger bond, let's face it. My best friends, HAZARD is over. When I sacrificed so much for them, believe me, time and money was no issue. They were one of my priorities.

But when it backfired on me, when some members began spreading and twisting my words, what was I supposed to do?

Hide?

Initially that was my idea... But I told myself, I can't hide. I can't. I kept a positive attitude, hopefully things would blow over, and to a certain extent it did. I sacrificed so much to show that I wasn't afraid, to believe in myself that I would be okay.

Indeed, I was, okay.

Even though initially the sacrifice of my pride didn't turn out well for me, that sacrifice eventually became a blessing for me.

The whole event, the whole issue of backstabbing became a sieve of who were my true friends, and who were the idiots that was there to just ruin everything I had.

Keeping a positive attitude through out any situation will eventually be awesome for you. Don't blame anyone for your mishaps. You'll start moaning, digressing and eventually doing nothing about it.

Instead, fix it. Fix it till everything is in your favour, when things are awry.

I learnt a lot the past year. There's a reason why I don't open up so much, eventually DONT-CHA becomes slightly boring, but its because I have to be smarter about who I open up to, and who I totally shun in the attempt of staying away from shitheads.

Either way, out of every obstacle is a lesson.


Comment question: What have you sacrificed this year, and what did you learn from it? Hmmm...

BTW I know I was vague on the whole HAZARD thing. Irony of it is, we used to be a really tight group of friends. I don't really care about what happened but it really was a good learning experience. :D I'm grown up now and I can think what's good for me.



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Now playing: Beyoncé - Ego
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Family, Personal, Religion

Your purpose in life is to express your unique self.

You are a creative and artistic person with an interesting view on life.
Witty and outgoing, you enjoy sharing your crazy ideas with anyone who will listen.
A total social butterfly, you're the life of any party.

In love, you inspire and enchant your partner. You are often an object of fantasy and desire.

While you are very talented, you sometimes lack the ambition to put your talents in play. And while your wit carries you a long way, you occasionally use it to mask your true feelings.

Your natural abilities can bring you all the success in the world ... if you let them.

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Personal

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Personal

You know those kind of promises you make to your friends, then somehow along the way they go against their own word and start doing something you don't like. And because you know you did the same thing in the past, you accepted what they did was a mistake and that they're just human beings.

Okay, let me give a clear example.

Let's say, my friend, Sheila always believed she would never touch a cigarette. Then all of a sudden, she tries smoking because of her other friends that smokes as well. She initially doesn't play the monkey game but decided to give it a try. As a friend, I think she's hooked.

However, I did try a cigarette once. I stopped, never again did I get another stick. Knowing that I myself went against my own word and got a puff, I granted her act as an act of human nature, simply put, the fast and the curious.

However, I still can't accept the fact that she did it. Mainly because I didn't want her to make the same mistake as I did.

So at the end of the day, does that make me a hypocrite?

I really care for Sheila a lot, and sometimes, she's like a baby sister to me, but how would I know her games of curiousity does not turn into boxes of cigarettes in her purse?

I didn't smoke a cigarette for so long and I know I'm not hooked, perhaps its possible for her. But I really can't accept the fact that she smokes; she's my little sister.

I want to tell her to stop, but the girl's eighteen already, she pretty much can buy a box on her own and the stallholder won't even ask for her identification card. And technically, she is legal.

I just have so much to say to her but I just can't collect the words to say it, and to tell it to her straight. I'm not blaming her friends, considering the fact that they're just minding their business, and I can't blame her because she's growing up, becoming more curious.

Should I blame myself for not being there?

I feel awful now, I really do.

I guess people change. I now wonder. Did I stay the same? Or have I changed as well?

I don't think I've changed in terms of my personality but somehow, being in an environment where you feel you have to impress everyone everyday (i.e. Poly), makes me feel very...

How can I subtly put it...

Esteem. Less.

I miss the old times whereby you don't need to impress anyone (i.e. Uniform) except for shoes and bags (and of course, the occasional crazy hair). Somehow it's different this time.

You have to have the perfect body, the likeable attitude, the trendy hairstyle, the latest kicks.

I can't keep up. My body is in a horrible shape (yes, I am working tres hard on it), I've been accused of being overly stuck up and bossy, my hair used to be the Night Safari and my shoes are on rotation.

I used to feel alright with my shortcomings. Not complacent, just contented.

But now it's like I have to work harder everyday to keep up with everyone around me and that's when I realised.

I forgot who I am and started to think about what other people are looking at.

I lost me.

And somehow the chase of having someone to meet up after class, or the thought of embracing someone who you sends home at night or even the fact you're stuffing someone's face with chocolate ice cream makes you feel...

Small.

Because you don't have what your heart desires.

And when you realise you don't have so many things...

It makes you feel... Complacent. No longer contented.

I don't care about the amazing parties at Zouk or the crazy nights at Esplanade getting high. Because somehow, somewhere along the way, I lost myself. The person that I see in the mirror isn't me.

This isn't the person I want to be. This is how I know I changed. I'm no longer happy with the little things. I just want more, more and more.

I have got to sort myself out.

Comment questions of the day:
1) Do you think its hypocrisy to stop someone from doing something you USED to do?
2) Who should I really blame? The peer pressure to fit in, Sheila herself or me (as I am the friend that was not there to protect her)
3) Do you think I've changed? Friends, you should be honest, and those who just read my blog, what do you think?
4) Am I crazy to have thoughts like this (about myself and my friend)?

Editor's note: I really don't see myself in the mirror anymore, and it scares me. Of course, I'm not talking about physically, but spiritually. My personality is gone, my cheerfulness is gone and my attitude, is somewhere in Pluto's orbit.

BTW, 2 down, 28 to go.

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Now playing: The Academy Is... - Summer Hair = Forever Young
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Friends, Personal

Today was the first time I did this. Collecting moolah for a charitable cause, and I know it won't be my last. I had a great time today, with Michelle and her boyfriend, Raymond, walking up and down the streets of Bugis, peeking in and out of Suntec and just getting caught in the rain at City Hall, all for charity, it was worth it.

The Down-Syndrome Association of Singapore.

I knew somehow today would be an eye opener, in a sense that there will be people that will not want to donate, and that it would probably break a lot of stereotypical views that I may have inculcated within me.

1) Target parents with children.
I always thought it was a good idea, seemingly because parents need to be a good role model so that their children will follow their footsteps to donate as well. It was successful, really. Kids really liked the stickers and there were parents that genuinely donated.

The shock was that there were people, even with kids, they didn't want to donate. Okay, not exactly a surprise there, but what REALLY surprised me, the kids stopped their parents, took out their wallets and donated with their own money, while their parents grumbled.

One even said, "Walau! Everyday flag day ah?"

My jaws literally dropped to the floor.

2) Malays are very generous.
I won't support this blindly because I'm Malay, LAWL, but really its because I saw it for myself. The makciks stopped me to donate as I was walking away minding my own business, and the pakciks were really generous. Clad in their songkok and baju kurung, they took out any coin they had and stuffed it inside.

I'm so glad the people of my race are such generous people! Even the kids too!

3) Ladies with Gucci bags are a nice catch.
They know they have the money to buy the bags, so they donate as well. Sure, they won't donate as much they pay for their bags, but really it's the thought that counts.

Oh, and early in the morning, a lady gave me $10, straight off the bat. She asked me questions about which Poly I was from and about the charity I was working for. It was amazing because she's so giving. I bet she gives to any charity every week.

4) Caucasians are generous.
WRONG! WHOEVER TOLD ME THIS STATEMENT WAS WRONG!

I couldn't believe it, you know. I thought, okay, perhaps one or two setbacks, that's fine. But every Caucasian that I stopped never donate! Nor to Michelle or Raymond.

The worst was when I said to this lady who was with her friend.

"Excuse me, miss, would you like to donate to the..."

"NO MONEY!" She screamed at me, while holding a cappuccino in one hand and a burger in the other. No money, my foot.

And they're very vocal about not donating, like somehow it's normalcy to reject openly. The usual would be, just look, smile and politely nod, "no." But some I saw today literally ran and screamed, NO.

I don't want to turn it into stereotype, but I can't help it. The patterns are a like.

Whatever, I enjoyed today, and at least I'll sleep tonight knowing I spent my day right.

It was really an eye-opener today, and you betcha! Comment questions :)
1) Have you ever done flag day before? If yes, for what charity(ies)?
2) What was the most you recieved?
3) What was your worst experience?
4) If you HAD TO reject donating, how would you do it?

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Now playing: The Cardigans - Lovefool
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Current Affairs, Deep Thoughts

My cousin of the age of 11 has a Friendster account. Another cousin of the age of 10 has two phones already. My baby cousin, Aiman who is only 5 knows how to camwhore with my W850i (I'm actually proud of Aiman! :D I taught him that! :P)

Well, aside from Aiman's case, I'm very bothered by how fast kids nowadays are growing. Singtel has a plan so that parents and their kids can share a plan to contact each other when needed. I mean, intention is good, but at what cost?

Kids as young as 7 have a phone. I don't think at that age, priority shouldn't be about SMSing your friend about the lastest Pokemon Ash Ketchum just caught. Perhaps I can be rather traditional when it comes to kids and technology.

But really though, what are we teaching our kids? Shouldn't kids at a young age they be outside playing at the playgound, soccer, basketball or in fact anything that involves a lot of cardio? Personally speaking, I think kids should go out and explore nature and the wonderful sports they can play. Not sitting at home staring at the computer screen waiting for comments from their friends at Friendster.

I think kids are rushing to grow up. Because they think it's glamourous. LOL. Believe me, I was a kid and there were times pretending to be a senior was cool, especially in primary school. My first phone was when I was 12. (Even that was post-paid).

Okay, stop the unnessasary rambling. Time for some organized thoughts.

Cellphones for kids? Okay, parents, this needs to stop. Don't give me the reason, "I need to know where my child is!" There's a thing called payphone. And kids below the age of 12 shouldn't be out at Orchard anyway! Parents, what are you teaching your kids if you give them a phone but they only use it to excessively SMS their friends?

Another thing, parents, please block your kids from Friendster. There are so many threats online! There are imposters, paedophiles and kidnappers that might eat your child up. Perhaps its time you should check the Temporary Internet Folders because kids nowadays know how to delete Online History.

Presley says it's normal that kids nowadays know what is Friendster and that they have phones. I think it's not. Personally speaking, if I had a kid and he's not out there playing in the playground but instead at home talking to his friend all day long, I'm gonna personally bring him out to play soccer.

I can't stand kids trying to grow up fast. They should value their youth when they are at their prime.

It reminds me. I missed watching Pokemon every Saturday morning at 10.30am. Or playing at the playground after school until 7.30pm when I was in primary school. Fact of the matter is, I wasn't exposed to technology back then and I realised...

My childhood wasn't deprived.

Plainly said. I grew up having fun. Even when I had a computer, I knew nuts about the internet. Ironically, internet ruined me.

On the sidebar, Under Comments, there's a poll for you guys. Answer the simple questions then comment! :D Simple. I just care what you people think! LAWL.

Comment Questions of the Day:
1) To phone or not to phone? Why?
2) Friendster for kids. Should Friendster block kids and kick security into high gear or parents should block the sites? Why?
3) What was the best childhood memory? I'm sure our childhood isn't deprived. I'm still looking for my best friend here.


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Now playing: Michelle Williams - Lucky Girl
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Current Affairs, Deep Thoughts, Technosaurus

Comment questions of the day:
1) What do you think of people who choose their friends based on their looks?
2) Do you honestly bother to get to know someone if they are not good looking to you but still are nice people?
3) Do you critisize people who, in your opinion, looks worst than you?
4) If you could, what is the one thing would you change about yourself, PHYSICALLY?

Listen to this song. It's practically my blog post tonight. I know this post is short, but I really wanna know your response before blogging about this. Thank you in advance for your participation!

*edited question two*

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Now playing: TLC - Unpretty
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Personal

I want to find my primary school best friend, get him a cup of coffee and talk under the huge Starbucks umbrella. Yeah, my first ever best friend when I was seven years old.

His name was Rocky, and I knew him for about a year. We were really close. We played at the playground for hours after school and usually I'll have dinner at his house.

Beyond the scholastic contact, we never really exchanged phone numbers or when out together (because we were really young) and the only thing we ever had in common was playing catching (or tag, in some cases) and running up the slides and monkeying on the bars.

Somehow, because of the past few days of me being at Eunos more often in the evenings triggered my memory of Rocky. I want to know more about my old best friend. I want to know how he's doing. I want to know him.

As kids, we create imaginary friends (well, I kinda did) and once we find a friend that we are of the same level with, we share a special bond.

I still remember his smile. It's like an image stuck in my head.

Of course, I still love the people I know now just as much, to name a few, my BBFF, Hairul & Amber. I just seem to wonder how Rocky is doing and how he looks like. I bet he's a guitarist in a band and has emo hair. *shakes head violently*

Somehow I only remembered him my first two years of primary school, afterwhich, I think he moved. Right now, I miss him so much. Somehow.

Comment questions of the day!
1) If you could find ONE childhood friend that you lost, who would it be?
2) What is the fondest memory of you and your friend?
3) Do you think it is possible for me to contact Rocky again? Honestly. HAHA.
4) *bonus question!* Did you use to have an imaginary friend? (Or girlfriend, in some cases *Luqman!*


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Now playing: Beyoncé - Get Me Bodied (Extended Mix)
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Friends

Labels: Deep Thoughts

Jiade, an old friend from the Singapore Idol days, was talking to me and he invited me to join Sgfriends.net. Apparently it's this site for bloggers. While contemplating on whether to join, Jiade said certain things that I was (honestly) quite taken aback.

"ur blog post is so top blogger feel. just like ice angel and xiaxue."

I was honestly flattered. I've never read Ice Angel's blog but when I went to her blog, it was rather good to read. I like bloggers like Ice Angel. Detailed about what she feels yet focused on everything around her. She's not going crazy about herself either, which was rather interesting to know. Also, apparently Ice Angel has been the number one Singaporean Blogger based on Sgfriends.net for God-knows-how-many-million-years! Seriously, kudos!

As for the latter, let's just say I'm not a fan and I don't like her blogging style. Overrated, much?

Regardless, I'm not here to unnecessarily create e-conflicts (LAWL! Can you imagine?) but I mean, when Jiade told me to join, I was open to idea (about joining) but when I started to think deeper into the whole situation, I find that the people currently at the top are not even real bloggers.

(Oh, apparently I do have an account there, I just didn't bother to use it)

I mean, honestly. I don't think anyone gets closer to me when it comes to blogging. I mean, when it comes to blogging, I find myself very passionate about it, rushing home before midnight just to publish so it's not too late. I don't see it in other bloggers. Perhaps, I'm jumping to conclusions but putting a million photos of yourself with the same face and having the same pose is not considered blogging.

Well, to me at least.

I missed the old times when blogging used to be about freedom of expression and talking about things you feel like the whole world should know. Not just about your life, but the people around you that you love or the things that is bugging you and you feel like you need to shake it off and that the only way to do it is via your blog.

Now it's like blogging is a trend, something when you have nothing to do, you want to do it.

It's simply like, "omg! I just took five hundred freaking photos of me drinking ice lemon tea! Let's go update my blog now!"

And instantly (I mean instantly) poof! Photobucket and Blogger.com webspace is wasted on useless images like that. This is your Blogger. Not Friendster. (I'll be waiting for the 897897894561327 comments saying, "WHO FXCKING CARES WHAT YOU SAY, MY BUSINESS ARH WHAT I DO WITH MY WEBSPACE!")


Seriously. And do you readers realise that most bloggers tend to get defensive, like superdefensive when they get comments like, "YOU SUCK!" or "FXCKACOW!" or whatever slandering statements that can be made.

I mean, can't bloggers look back at haters and say, "thanks for coming!" or "hope to see you again soon!" They are so used to hiding (or at least cowed to) whenever attacked. Try something different for a change. Be friendly and don't be so defensive for goodness sake. People leave comments like that because it's either they have nothing to do or they just want to test you.

It happens all the time.

And everywhere I go, I keep reading, "If you find this offensive, please click the X on the top right of your screen." First of all, you can't please everybody and if everybody isn't pleased, all of them will leave your blog. Secondly, if people don't like it, they will automatically leave even without you telling them to click X. Thirdly, what about the Mac users. They don't even have an X on the top right of their screen so does that mean that they can't leave if they're offended?

Look, people are not stupid. If they are offended, they will leave AUTOMATICALLY. And if they are kind enough, they will tell you something polite to perhaps change your perspective on the topic you are talking about.

But bloggers get defensive. When they are told they are wrong, they will say something like, "GET THE FXCK OUT!" or something so humiliating that they could prevent just by saying, "Sorry, error noted."

Or if the topic they are talking about is something of which they are passionate about, they would tend to get very narrow-minded. A blogger would have probably said some stereotypical things but when pointed out by people that he is incorrect to be that way, he'll react and scream, "FXCK YOU! MY BLOG MY SAY!"

Then why have a blog?

If you're not open to any comments or any suggestions for that matter, then don't get a blog! What's the use of getting a blog if you're not going to listen to your readers and open your mind about what they have to say? Just because it's your blog, you're king? Face it, without your readers, you won't even be blogging.

It's the logic.

You put yourself on a pedestal, expect haters to leave hate-tag. You get a blog and get expressive, no matter how good it may sound in your head, there will be people who will find it offensive. And please.

Blogging used to be something special. Now it's like a cheapo version of Straits Times Classified Ads but this time people are advertising themselves for that number one spot. Please give way to real bloggers like Ice Angel for that number one spot?

And I don't think I should join Sgfriends.net. I don't want to chase people around to get more visitors. If they like what they read on my blog, they can spread it via word of mouth or they can link me (do inform me, I'll link you back too). And as much as I would love to be the number one blogger, I'm not going to waste time to constantly advertise my blog and myself.

And I'm not joinging Sgfriends.net to compete with mediocre bloggers. It's like Umbrella beating Irreplaceable on the Hot 100 countdown. We all know Irreplaceable has a deeper meaning and a catchy tune. Umbrella just had the latter. (I might have liked the song, but try to understand this metaphor. LAWL!) I've been taught that the talented worry about mediocrity. That's why I'm staying far away so I know that I'm not a part of them.

Oh well, who knows. I might change my mind about joining Sgfriends.net. The only time I'll do that (is probably) is when I lose a trillion kilograms in a year and take man-slutty photos of my hot new body which hasn't arrived yet, putting up 641568974561278945621 pictures.

I think that's the only way I can get to number one. Yeah.

Random: I hate bloggers who call themselves photographers/love photography when all they do is camwhore and have never taken a still life nor a conceptual photo before.

Oh, drift away from the topic.

I did something right today. I saved $30 on a couple of V-necks. :) I'm being a smart shopper. "Diva-on-a-dime giler babi". HAHA

Labels: Current Events, Deep Thoughts, Personal

There's a time in every Singaporean boy (who goes to a government school, well, usually that's the case) where he evolves from short pants to long pants. Why I used evolved? Well mainly because it's pretty much that I'm gonna slam them without being stereotypical. Well, I'll try.

I was out with Dominic again today and we were in bus 7 when we passed by Telok Kurau Secondary School and there was this group of boys boarded the bus and they created such a huge hullabaloo and trying to be vocal. I looked at Dominic and said,

"These are just kids who just worn their long pants for the first day - Fresh secondray three students"

Obviously the quote was seemed more flowery, hah. I basically said, "Mak, this one confirm just become sec 3 laa. Stop it seh."

HAHA.

Well, regardless, I could tell that they're secondary three students. The way the carry themselves, the way they talk and the way they wear their uniform - every little thing that these kids did made me conclude (and I'm not just jumping to conclusions) that they are indeed freshly baked from the secondary two oven.

They walked like they own the world. And it's not the type of confidence you would fancy, like, "oh-my-gosh, he's so confident, he carries himself well!" No, it was cocky and they walked like the cock walking out of its pen. Wings and all when he knows he can't fly, goddammit. They spread themselves amongst the seats of the second level of the double decker bus, eating so untidily which by the way, is not a good way to carry yourself.

Especially in the bus.

Still, you gotta give them credit for trying. And you should laugh at them for failing.

They talked so loud - I'm not even exaggerating. Before they came, Dom and I were just enjoying a conversation and it was just peace and quiet but when they came up, the second level sounded like a damn pasar malam. I'm not kidding. They were talking to each other (and each person took two seats probably because at this age, they probably think sitting next to your friend with one seat per person is gay,) and screamed at each other even though they were next to each other.

I looked at Dom, with such irritance and both of us decided it was best to listen to to our mp3 players when they decided to alight the bus. In my heart, I was screaming,


Kids like that scare me. Not in the, "God, save me from the furious, fierce and most definitely frighteningly, freshly-worn long pant kids!" No, it's like the, "God, can you please take these irritant kids far away from me?"

I guess God instant replied and answered my prayers there and then.

Another thing that I concluded was the tapered pants. Before the holidays was over, I managed to talk to some of my juniors and most of them said the same thing.

"I want to alter my pants!"

Like seriously, some I don't mind, they have the look, they carried themselves well, but ther are just few that just can't cut it, and they think they can. Plus, they altered so much, even the length wasn't spared. I think they cut like 5 inches too much.

Don't get me started on the, "oh-my-gosh, the holidays is here so I'm totally gonna cut my hair like a freaking mat rep" hair. It doesn't work in uniforms. The kids should just go into an orgy of massive head shaving for each other.

That could be the new blowjob and everyone can prevent STDs.

Oh well, digression, digression, digression.

Kids like that, scare me. And I swear, if Ridhwan (who is also out of the secondary two oven) becomes like that, I'm gonna have to whoop his ass so hard, he's coming back to reality.

I'm not saying all kids out of the oven are like that, but most of them are. These boys look to wearing long pants give them power, as if they're seniors, but they're not. They're just a bunch of kids trying to 'stand out' when it isn't their time. Kids, don't take offense but perhaps you might have to look at yourself.

Am I like that?

I know that I was grounded when I was out of the oven. I knew my place and I kept to myself a lot back then. I knew that when I became a senior, it was my time to shine. But when I'm secondary three? No, not for me.

Most secondary four and five students wouldn't qualify for the three criteria above (the walk, the talk and the uniform) because they probably lived a year of being crappy, they would have matured and yes, actually sit next to each other in buses and not take over as if it's their temporary clubhouse.

I think they should abolish the whole, "long pant, short pant" thing because seriously, this is the first ever problem with pants. You'd think something that has improved mankind for more than a millennium would actually produce a con (when the pants is filled with pros, like protecting one's oompa-loompa.)

And the problem that came after that? Mat reps and tapered pants. And I swear the list goes on and on and on. Oh probably spandex too.

I miss school. Perhaps this is why I talked about the pants issue. Don't worry, it's been long overdue that I talk about this topic. And since I'm gonna be invovled with BNSS a lot, I'm gonna drop by for visits more often.

Kids, don't be offended, okay. Take this as a joke. And if you have a problem, my tagboard is to the left, to the left.

Drifting far away from the topic, as you know, (ever since yesterday) I'm going to do something productive everyday.

Well today, I did two. I went to the gym and realised I lost 4kg over the holidays (instead of gaining even after eating so much from stress of 'O' levels and too much Satay for Raya) and...

I went to make my very first ATM card with DBS bank. I totally was a crazed up virgin on the ATM machine. I swear, I have never withdrawn money and I never thought I'd look that dumb.

I rock. HAHA. I wonder how tomorrow will be like.

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Personal, Secondary Messes

Woke up and realized this world's not so bad after all
Looked at it through a child's eyes, and I saw these beautiful
Things that you never think about
Like the ocean, moonlight, stars and clouds
It's amazing how we don't appreciate our blessings
There's plenty of people who don't like me
But since there are more who love me and I love myself
Sometimes, it gets tough, it gets tough
But I can't give up, can't give up
Just take a deep breath, close my eyes
Feel the love and give a smile

I spent the last few moments of 2007 by myself (well after a call from my little brother, Ridhwan), reflecting about the stuff that I have been doing over the year and I guess whatever bad things that you have faced in the past year, you can only look back and learn from whatever that happened.

Today is not just a new day, it's a new year.

Time for a fresh and new perspective, a more optimistic attitude (I'm still a realist, nonetheless) and I just want to be happy, and quite frankly today was a great day. I spent the day at home and I just relaxed by myself and I thought of the good things that happened in my life amidst the bad.

I am loved. I know it.

I'm thankful for all the blessing God has put upon me. Even the bad moments. Still I can't thank God enough for everything He has done even the moments I feel like my face have been dragged over gravel.

Today was fresh - in a sense I didn't waste it (even though I pretty much did nothing), I didn't care about the things happening behind my back, I just focused on me. I focused on what's important at home - family. I spent the morning with my parents and the evening with my sister playing her very girly version of Monopoly which was all pink and honestly, I've never been so repulsive of pink before but I guess the most important thing was spending time with her.

So I guess today was productive - I spent time with my family. Tomorrow? I have plans. It should be up on my blog tomorrow. Haha. I'm spending every day of 2008 productively. If at anytime, a day in 2008 I don't do anything I should punish myself.

I do track back and read the promises I made to myself, to show that I am responsible enough to think and reflect. Making mistakes are useless unless you learn from them.

The last few days of 2007, I spent my days with my friends. With Amber, Hamid and Presley, Dominic and See Kai, all seperate but as you know, I can't blog about Amber, Hamid and Presley because they 'don't take photos'. HAHA. Yeah right.

On the 30th, I went out with See Kai. I had a great time with him. Met up at 5pm and we literally wasted our lives around Orchard road. See Kai, I love you and all, but bro! You're super indecisive. You know what he did?

HAHA. He wanted to buy shoelaces for his school shoes and it was only $1.90 and he told me he needed something to match his uniform. So I told him to get it. He thought about it and you know what. He actually took more than five minutes to contemplate whether to buy or not.

In the end, he didn't buy the shoelaces even though he wanted it. HAHA. And you know what he spent his money on?

TopMan.

HAHA. He spent I think less than $50 because apparently TopMan is having their year-end sale. I was kinda disappointed at myself for not buying something for myself despite the sale. I wanted to get a shirt at GAP but it's nett priced at $39.

I am glad however, that I saved up money because unexpectedly...

I got chosen to go for an interview at the airport as... Get this.

Airport Ambassador!

And the job requires me to guide the tourists here and there, everywhere they need to go, all that stuff and I think I'm gonna love the job.

What sucks is that I have to dress up for my interview and with the money I had left over (from disappointingly not treating myself to shop at TopMan) to buy the dress pant. The very next day, the last day of 2007, I went out with Dominic and shopped!


I had a great time with Dominic too. I went out with him for lunch at Parkway Parade after which he went job hunting and he was being so bxtchy about it (HAHA) saying that he has to fill so many blanks on the commutative vitae form (or resume) and I actually filled one of the forms for him, which was G2000 but I agreed though.

The form had so many freaking blanks.

Still, I had fun with Dominic. We then went to Marina Square and Suntec, for him to job hunt and it was just so crazy. I can't disclose what we did but it involves a shop, a resume and a very awkward situation. Don't worry Dom, I won't say a thing. It's just between us. HAHA!


After all that, we went over to Orchard to see a friend of mine, Derek perform. He was amazing and his showmanship is rather good and even though the CD skipped, he managed to get back on his feet which is quite commendable. Kudos, Derek. :D

Apparently he hasn't uploaded videos but when it's on, I'll let you guys know. (Random, but you guys should check Derek's blog. The way he put his images are somewhat simplistic and artistic, loves it!)

Derek, coffee soon? :D

Dominic and I ended the day rather early because for the first time Dad's giving me a voluntary curfew (as in he gave me the timing) of 10pm but I appealed for 11pm. I thought of going to Presley's house for the New Year's Party. However, something told me to get back home. I thanked Dominic for spending the last day of the year with me. I had a great time

(and if he said otherwise or stay silent, I might have to slit his throat! HAHA.)

I did, and I spent the whole night online chatting with Derek. I got so hyper (don't ask me why, I was starving myself actually) and in one way or another, I did spend my new year with him. HAHA.


and if you read it properly (YES, THE IMAGE IS CLICKABLE), Derek's MSN subnick says... Listening to Zul - Gimme More which was so fxcking random. I told you, I got high and recorded using MSN. HAHA. The way my voice changed. It's crazy. HAHA.

And I'm glad in some crazy way even I can't understand, Derek said, 'YES GOOD' and 'i was really nodding my head'. Sarcasm or not, haha, thanks. :D

And I'm glad the song (stupidly funny) cheered Shahirah up from the drama she's facing. You guys, spread the love alright. :D VISIT HER! :D

I'm about to sign off, but ladies and gentlemen, as a round up for this post, I have updated SATURATED PASTURES, so please check it out. :D (I initially wanted to make a big commercial but time constraints. :S)


Yeah. So come on ladies and gentlemen, stop sulking your lives away and let's live productively. I'm making 2008 my year and everything's gonna be alright. No, it's gonna be great. I can feel it.

Labels: Audio, Deep Thoughts, Family, Friends, Outings, Personal, Site Updates

Dear you

All words couldn't amount to how much confusion you have put me through, yet I have no resentment towards you. I admit, there are times I vent frustration about you but honestly, it doesn't last very long.

These few weeks I've learnt what type of person you've become. A coward. Yes, a coward. People merely gush out words of tease and you flow out everything that I have kept - or seem to have kept, but that's okay.

If it wasn't for your cowardly ways and your hatred towards me, I wouldn't have been stronger than yesterday. If it wasn't for you, I think I'd be sitting here and questioning myself what people think of me, and honestly I didn't know much attention was on me until you lash out everything, or seem to. Regardless, any publicity is good publicity.

Because of you, I now know how to get out of sticky situations when people ask me certain question that come directly from you. The things you told don't apply anymore. Please, don't blame me if people are mocking you about you and I. It's the way you react that made you dig your own grave.

Not only that. The way you react makes people think otherwise about you. So please, don't think just because you lash out my secrets (or again, SEEM TO) in order to shift attention from me to you will do you any good, wake up and smell the coffee.

People are looking down on you.

Yes, by doing the exact thing you are doing now, you are downgrading yourself to what you were years ago. Desperate. Especially when the wrong attention is on you.

You constantly want to be in the good light, to be the one people will be on their knees for - but guess what, people have lost total respect for you because you can't be trusted.

And what others have said before (and the advice I should have heeded), no one should ever trust you. You are selfish and just want things to be good for yourself.

Well, congratulations. You've turned into everything that you hated. You lied to yourself, swore to hypocrisy, betrayed everyone that you loved and cared for. To get to the top, you must kick people down.

Well, does it feel good knowing you're 'at the top' all alone?

Congratulations, coward. Hopefully you'll get an award for everything you have put me through and whatever you have done.

You will never stop me or bring me down regardless of whatever you put out. You never will be a man - you will stay as the boy who thinks he can.

You're never a man. And that's coming from the bottom of my heart, full of honesty.

Sincerely
Zul

Labels: Deep Thoughts

Today, I went for lunch with Aini and Dominic at Bugis. It was fun but the thing I despise most is that they keep talking about topics like love and it bugged me like, a lot because I'm out of love (that poem was just a random thing) and I kinda know why I am aiming for already.


Which got me thinking, is good for me. I hate falling in love because I end up disappointed and I really don't feel like being in any relationship. So if anyone asks if I'm heterosexual or homosexual, my answer would be neither.

So back to Aini and Dominic, they were talking to each other about topics that I find most stupid, of which is love. Seriously. She wants to be happy, he wants to the right girl, yadeyadeyada. Give it up already. I'm happy and I'm by myself.

Truth is, I like the fact that I'm single. I am free to roam, free to do as I wish. Just the other day a friend of mine whose girlfriend jumped on him because he took pictures with other girls. For something so petty? Oh well, glad I'm not on the same boat.

En route to the National Library, Dominic tells me, "don't be like that" (to being asexual). I'm like, "I'm through with everything and I can fly, fly, fly!" (quote exaggerated, of course) and at this time, the car just dashed right in front of me, a close shave, might I add at the traffic stop.

Right now as I think, "God's telling me not to give up". Perhaps.

Oh who gives a hoot.

In my mind right now, I'm contemplating to either go to a barbecue (BBQ) pit with my ex-classmates, 5B OR go shopping with the new cool cats I met at Singapore Polytechnic.

I thought that if I went to the BBQ, I technically get free food. I don't have to spend money just to eat a damn meal, considering I didn't eat enough food at the dinner and dance last Saturday due to the enthusiastic dance and hosting of the whole show.

Going to the BBQ also means I get to meet old friends of which I haven't been seeing since November 6th (the last day of the O levels for me) and well, it might be refreshing to just catch up on each others lives.

The downside of going to the BBQ is that I meet people I don't like. I publicly don't like that is. I don't want to mention names but if you read my blog religiously, you should know.

Regardless, I don't think I should avoid the whole event just because of two people, right?

Still, I don't know.

I like all my new friends. I really do. Well, technically, I'm only going out with one other new friend. Tomorrow, Aini, Dominic, Zachary and I are going shopping.

I don't know. My heart tells me shopping is more important because I haven't shopped with friends since the last time with Amber and Hamid. Hairul wants me to join the BBQ. So yeah. I'm in a dilemma. Especially when your BBFF and shopping are some of the most important things in your life.

I'll go with the flow. I might just drop by to show my face and then jet off to go shopping at Bugis Street or something. I don't know, we'll see how.


Quite frankly, today is rather depressing. I topped up $5 on my EZ-link and now I'm left with only a few cents in it all because of that $2.50 Mcflurry with that strawberry chunks. AH! And you know what, like the caption of the last picture. WINDOW SHOPPED. HOW DEPRESSING IS THAT. TWICE, NOT ONCE, but TWICE.

The ridiculousity of it all (ridiculousity is ridiculously not a word, but it sounds nice) is that we went all the way to Bugis to have lunch. HAHA. It was nice laa, and cheap too!

Why? She knows I'm getting my pay late so she gives me $100 in advance for me to spend spend spend. I LOVE MY MUMMY.

You wanna call me a MUMMY'S BOY? Go ahead laa. I get the benefits anyway. And for your information, I'm not spoiled. Just pampered, okay. Pampered in a sense that I still have to pay the $100 back. If I don't have to pay, erm. Then and only then you can call me spoiled. HEHE.

Randomly, I asked Dominic to think of a post title (for this entry) and he came up with this, which I find it rather smart.


I am a waking man, and my hope is...

and I know for the few hundred thousands of those collecting your N level results tomorrow, all I have to say to you is...

Labels: Camwhoring, Deep Thoughts, Friends, Love, Outings, Personal

Waiting for your...
call; I'm sick.
call; I'm angry.
call; I'm desperate for your voice.
Listening to the song we used to sing.

And I used to feel that way. Sometimes nowadays, I still do. The reason why I moved on so fast was because, for one thing, I didn't stay around too long hoping things would happen for the both of us, even though I wanted it to. However, through it all, I managed to just see what was most important to me.

Me.

Not you, but me. Not to sound like a conceited brat, but I appreciate the times when you were there to pick up my calls, to listen to me rant and all those nonsensical things I wish I still could do with you today, but your absence taught me how to be independent. I don't need you to tell me how I should feel and I most definitely don't need you to tell me what I should do. You taught me all that without even teaching me anything.

Still, credit goes to you. And no, I'm not being sarcastically bitchy either. I mean it.

Quite frankly, the reason why I'm not speaking to you is because for whatever that happened to you, all you had to do was tell me why you couldn't meet up with me. For whatever that happened, there has got to be a reason. This is not the first, but the fourth time. Every time, I've tried my hardest to believe, but now, tell me.

Was it all just a lie?

To bring me up and cut me down like something that doesn't even matter?

Now, I question your true feelings towards me. Am I someone you cherish with all your heart like you said you did or just a punching bag that you leave here to collect dust, only to clear it when you need it? Tell me.

If its the latter, then I'm disappointed with you.

If its the prior, then why must you go hiding? Why must 'coincidentally' something happen when I wish to just spend time with you? "Oh, dropped my phone in the tub.", "Casted ankle." Why is it that something so unexpected only happen when something expected should happen?

I'm not asking that you fall in love; nor am I asking you to do anything much. The basis of it all was to spend time with you. Was it too much to ask?

What's wrong with you, honestly? I've been 100% genuine from the start and it's like you truly take me for a ride. The ride was a roller coaster. I enjoyed every moment of it, the helix, the loop, all that.

But why a ride when you could have just been honest.

You take pride in being honest. Especially when I just keep something to myself; which is minor by the way, and you take it personally? Guilt befallen upon me and I tried everything to make things right.

Right now, I just am in a state of confusion. You haven't spoken to me for almost a week now - it's fine. I am still living, surprisingly and honestly, I'm doing great (not because of your absence but) because of the things that are happening in my life right now, I try to make it the best out of everything, if possible.

You're gonna hate me for saying, but like you said yourself, 'you'd rather honesty than hypocrisy'. So tell me.

Is it coincidence that you can't call me to tell me that you 'can't make it'? Or why do 'stuff' happens when I just want to spend some time with you? Or that I think you're not honest about yourself?

If you take pride in being honest, like you said you do, then tell me.

If not then just keep silent, as per normal, like you usually do; till someone between the two of us breaks the ice once again.

I hope you do know that whatever I've said to you in the past and right now, on this post, is genuine, straight from the heart. I've lost hope in a lot of people and for some reason (of which only God knows,) I still have hope AND faith in you.

Don't let me down. Prove that you are true to yourself and me. Prove that you whatever you've said, how much you cherish the friendship between us is indeed true and not a big fuckery.

For the first time ever, I don't feel stupid because I still believe in someone who let me down. However, if things do fail for me, it's okay. I now have a backup plan for everything. It doesn't matter because I won't be let down twice. Even with hope and faith, I'm still prepared for the worst.

I was born to tell you 'I love you' and quite frankly, I still do. Not to the extent of wanting to be with you but I still cherish you a lot. When I listen to "Your Call", the song of which you sent me, I still feel the chills that run down my spine, how almost every word relates to whatever I felt then.

I finally see daylight but shadows of you still linger. If the shadows are depictions of what is real, from the heart and soul and not ghosts that haunt me, prove it.

You were more than a best friend, and at one point in time, you were more than everything. God knows I want you to read this. Just know I still care, okay?

Oh and apparently, sending you Betty's wasn't a chore. It was just so you could enjoy. I don't need anything in return for that.

Yes, I know I digressed a million times in this post but digression for me seems to be the best way to strip my heart into tiny obvious pieces so that every part of how I feel is portrayed here for you to understand.

Takes two hands to clap and God knows I've been doing my best. Where's your part? And I think I should click the 'Publish Post' button now. I've said too much already.

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Friends, Personal

In an attempt to disguise my sorrows these past few days (not from working but rather unbloggable issues) I have made the conclusion that the story of The Wizard of Oz is a rather sadistic one rather than something you can learn from and enjoy these lessons that the writer tried to put it out however, in my opinion is unsuccessful.

I got hold of the script (since I worked with Bukit Panjang Primary School (BPPS) for this production) and initially I didn't bother reading it but because there so much time of doing nothing, I fell into compulsion of reading it and turns out the story is, I repeat, sadistic. Or at least, morally incorrect.

First, when Dorothy's house was 'magically' transported by a hurricane (or tornado, sling either if you will) and the house was dropped onto the Wicked Witch of the East, (WWE, lawl) the people of Munchkinland (the place where the house dropped) celebrated; with no hesitation! They even got the coroner to check if WWE is actually dead to celebrate even more! What does that tell us kids?

Does that mean that when somebody bad dies, you show no compassion that you celebrate? With singing and dancing? Tell you the truth, there was not even a moment of silence for WWE. Isn't she also God's creation and should be treated equal regardless of the bad things she has done?

Then the Good Witch of the North, Glinda came, which she joyously announced the start of the celebration of the death of WWE. What a Good witch. Really.

Next was that Glinda told Dorothy to wear the red shoes and follow the yellow brick road. This is the next mistake. How can you let a CHILD walk around in a place she has never even been ALONE? That's like asking her to be kidnapped by whoever she may meet along the way. Are kids to be taught that its okay for them to go somewhere they have never been before without adult supervision? Dorothy had to follow the yellow brick road but went through the forest and stuff. Where is the adult responsibility?

Ideed absent.

So along the way, she came across Scarecrow, which in the basis of friendship, is okay. The Tinman, fine by me. The Lion? The more the merrier! But she is a little child who came across what seems to be three middle-aged men. Why even if they're not human beings, what is supposedly the messaged that they sent to kids? Make friends to whomever seems nice? For all we know, when with the three stooges, Dorothy probably had to put her hand in between her legs when she sleeps to avoid getting raped. If she is smart enough. And if she did, would they have shown it to the kids?

No. I don't think so.

It's like this movie wants kids to expect the good out of people without precautionary measures. I know what you are thinking, 'the story isn't real!' but the message is. Kids can take things the wrong way; and honestly, may actually carry it out.

But I digress.

So they finally met the Wizard and he requested that the Fantastic Four bring him the crystal ball of the Wicked Witch Of The West (WWW) whom in the earlier part of the show threaten to 'take care' of Dorothy because she killed WWE. And guess what?

Dorothy is a murderer. Although WWW did put her in jail and threaten to burn the Scarecrow, what right has she to kill WWW? I thought it was good for someone to not do a bad deed to a bad person regardless the situation? So it's okay to kill.

Get your parangs people, and get your freakum on.

So after successfully murdering WWW, she goes back to the Wizard's castle and here's the thing. Everyone there is under the rule of the Wizard but the Wizard himself turn out to be a fraud! He is nothing but something insignificant (so insignificant, even with the script I can't figure out what he really is.) that has got everybody under his power because he is 'mysterious'.

So people, get to know the fraudulent and mysterious assess. They'll be so powerful, they'll rule your life.

Along with that, the finale kills me. All the three stooges got what they wanted. A brain, a heart and courage. (Even with that, the Wizard's reasoning is invalid, he just has the charisma part down, that is probably what made him powerful in the first place, just like any con man conning some old lady at the void deck with 'power stones'.

He couldn't get proper way to send Dorothy home, so in a way, Dorothy was going to be stuck there. Then, Glinda arrives. Hopes for Dorothy to be sent home could materialize. She says, "oh will you help me? Can you help me?"


So why put her in the position of going through hell, almost getting killed by WWW? Why not tell her in the first place when she got there?


I was like, WHAT? She was carried from Kansas to some foreign land by a HURRICANE and actually lived. How can she have not believed if Glinda told her in the first place that she had the power to go home? The WWW threatened to kill her, she appeared, disappeared, out of thin air. If I was Dorothy, and told that the only way for me to go home was to lick the underside of a munchkin's shoe, I'd do it!

Ridiculous.

I repeat, I know the story is for kids but the story is just preposterous. It's stupid too.

They cut this scene in BBPS version, but in the end, the anti-climax was that everything was a dream. I tell you, it's stupid.

I loved working though. It was as though I was a freeloader. Everything was free and I had to do a simple job. It's really like taking the money from someone's pocket and going home to sleep. Now I need to get another job. HAHA

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Drama, Work

This post is 99.9% accurate and it did happen to me. It's truly up to you to believe it. I seriously feel you should read this in the daytime if you are faint hearted. I'm scared just typing this at night!

On Thursday night, I slept so comfortably, thinking of... Well, that's not the point, but as I fell into deep sleep, I was suddenly alone in a North-East Line train and what it seemed was that the train went into a huge tunnel, and the emergency door at one corner opened and I walked out.

It was pitch black. The silence was piercing my ears. All of a sudden, Satan appeared in front of me, and like most times, I would take out a sword and killed him, he'd be vanquished. However, he reappeared, close up, right in front of his face and I can still remember how he looks like, and as I type this, his face is reappearing in my head. Well, his goatee was split in three, he had horns and a very sly smile - yellow teeth, yellow eyeballs with red pupils.

With him there, I just woke up, opened my eyes and it was pitch black. Unusual, as I would always see the light from the park outside, my bookshelf was missing. I wanted to recite some prayers.

But I couldn't! I couldn't breathe! I was merely trying to recite and something was holding me back! Then I realised, I was paralysed! I couldn't feel any part of my body and it was seriously so hard for me to move! I looked at my right hand, and it was hanging, as though with a rope attached from the ceiling.

Suddenly, everything reappeared - the bookshelf, the lights, the curtain, my pillows. I immediately screamed for my Mum. No answer. I ran out of my room and I was dumbfounded, pointing to my room and all my Mum asked was, "Did something disturbed you?"

I couldn't say anything. Dad went out, turned on most of the lights in the house and slept in the living room after watching soccer. Mum kept me company in her room. I think she has never seen me so vulnerable.

Even myself. I was so scared. Now? Not really.

Some say its stress, some say it really was Satan visiting me - for me, I don't think I've stressed myself that much and I haven't been praying. After being advised by Hairul, I decided to start praying, thus the Doodles last Friday night.

You know what's worst? I'm always alone at home. The good thing about it is, Dad comes home more often nowadays. I just don't want to be alone sometimes.

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Personal, Plain Ol' Weird

I find this... STUPID. I don't care if you have one, I don't care if you did your friend's quiz, it's stupid. I fell for the trend a few weeks back but I realised it's really stupid. Why?

You don't need to get a freaking 100% on this quiz to see that you are best friends. A random stalker, can get 100% on your quiz and your true friends can get 35%, just like Ali Mooch. Why? Because you don't even tell your true friends about you?

Think about it. If your enemy knows so many things about you, but he has never been there for you, in fact made your life miserable, and he gets a 100%, does that make him a true friend?

Your true friend is always there for you, your true friend makes you happy, and makes your life better, but scores low, does that make him a fake friend? NO! It's YOUR fault because you fail to share personal information to your true friend.

Then comes the dilemma, "He-scores-so-low-that-I-think-he's-not-a-real friend". Eh, please eh, true friends isn't defined by a stupid quiz, it's defined by the experiences you share together. If you are angry at your friend for scoring so low, this means you are easily influenced. And to be influenced by a piece of image? That's so low.

A true friend is not defined by how much IQ he has of you, but by the heart that is true. I have so many close friends and I just know basic knowledge of them. Name, age, birthdays. Sometimes, I don't even remember their birthday, but as we go along together, go through the same experiences, that's how I became close to them.

AND PLEASE EH. DON'T FALL FOR THE STUPID TESTIMONIAL/COMMENT TRICK.


Have you gotten this before? Well let me tell you, the person who started this chain mail (NOT THE PERSON THAT SENT IT TO YOU) either...
1) Had too low number of testimonial
2) Had too low self-esteem and need to prove that he has friends
3) Really had nothing to do.

"Fake friends: will ignore this.
Real friends: will send back to you."

I ignored it. So I'm a fake friend? NO. I gave a friend this, instead.

you really think me sending a heart means i care for you eh?

please laa girl. i care for you lots okay. and here's to prove it if you're not satisfied

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i just dont like sending chain mails, still, rock on girl!

And when my cousin gave me the heart thing, I just told him, "Don't need to send laa. I love you already". HAHA. Because it's true. I don't need to give that stupid heart back to you to show that I love or care for you. I ALREADY DO!

So people, let me make this clear. If your friend doesn't do well for the quiz, or does not return you the heart, maybe it's start you think about yourself and what you have. Be thankful. And just cos your friend scored low, don't make a hullabaloo about it, just be thankful he actually cared enough to do the nonsensical quiz to keep you happy.

Isn't that true enough? What other reasons do you need? If your friendship is really in jeopardy, talk to them about it. Showing your concern through a quiz or a stupid heart on Friendster/Myspace is cowardly, and your friend might not even know that the friendship is in danger.

Labels: Advice, Deep Thoughts, Friends, Personal