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GAMBLER

(n) One who plays at a game of chance, who gambles; One who takes risks


FACEBOOK | TWITTER
YOUTUBE | ZUCKFUL

Zulkarnain Sadali. I'm nineteen but I tend to forget so I unknowingly tell people I'm eighteen. Ridiculous, I know. I'm a rockstar in between the sets, no eyeliner and cigarettes. Life is magical, but its not so fantastic. Oh.

A student in Temasek Polytechnic's IIT School, majoring in Interactive Media Informatics, (IMI) with intentions of making it in the Media industry, a far cry from anything in IT. But I'm open to its possibilities.

I like to leave a little mystery in everything I type, and certain times I do not like to be obvious. I rather speak in tounges and cryptically because that's how I roll. But I always stand by my beliefs.

Just like Hannah Montana, I get the best of both worlds. I like fun but I don't mix anything together. Except when socialising though. Anything goes.

I'm a good boy, most of the times. Of course I shan't deny. I can be a real devil.

I repeat, I stand by my beliefs. If you don't like it, then you should put a red X on it.

PAPARAZZI

(n) photographers and other people involved in the media, who follow people, especially celebrities, in order to look for stories
I REALLY REALLY REALLY ENDORSE.

SRSLY.

mdzulkar9's Profile Page

RICH

(n) possessing material wealth

STARSTRUCK

(n) fascinated by fame or by celebrities

Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta is under the spotlight this time. In 2008, Gaga released The Fame, which she explained was "about how anyone can feel famous".

The Fame spawned many hit singles, including her debut single, Just Dance. Hit after hit, GaGa proved that she isn't a one hit wonder.

“An album full of hits.” – Billboard

THE FAME by LADY GAGA. OUT IN STORES NOW.

HONEY

(n) sweeten with; used as terms of endearment

BUDDY'S THE DJ

(n) a friend who selects and plays recorded music for an audience.

aina
amanda
amin
ayuni
azizan
cheryl
dakota
elene
fadli
farah
faris
fariza
firdaus
fitriana
gereleine
grace
haiqal
hanping
haziq
hazirah
huibo
indera
ivy
jaye
jayne
kaisheng
katrina
khairul
khir
liyana
liyana OL
luqman
michelle
mingxian
mithra
rafie
randy
rizal
robin
sakinah
sam
shane
shahirah
shikin
shikin
syafiqah
syahid
syuhada
taufiq
valenisha
zahrah
zhou dao

If you want to be linked, click "Comment" below any blog entry or scroll up under "Honey" and click on any comment. Then, add your name and address, and a short message. I will link you as soon as possible.

thanks.
Zul.

FILTER

(n) supressing information or waves of frequencies that are not required

Search:
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DISCO STICK

(n) a tool that holds the disco ball, a sexual innuendo

Surprised? This is my 33rd layout. The 41-month long run of DONT-CHA.blogspot.com spawned many layouts, from graphic art to vectors, to very narcissistic ones.

The layout is based on Lady GaGa's video, Poker Face. The layout goes hand-in-hand in promoting her debut album, The Fame.

No copyright infringement intended.

As a writer, I accept constructive criticism. However, as a person, I do not appreciate disrespectful and hurtful comments to me, my family, friends and/or but not limited to anyone that I speak of on my blog.

I do not guarantee that you will like everything that I read/say on DONT-CHA, but my intention is to entertain.

Please respect my work and my blog and kindly do not steal ANYTHING written/posted on my blog. It is deemed theft. If you want to use something, please just ask. This includes my profiles on FaceBook, Twitter, YouTube including but not limited to Friendster. I usually say yes.

I repeat. If you don't like it, put a red X on it, for Windows, and a red dot on it, for Mac.

I advise that you view this on a 1024x768 screen, preferably larger. Best viewed by my own Macbook.


Lady GaGa - Poker Face (Jody den Broeder Radio Edit)

 

Alas
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 11:17 pm
 














that's some zuckful cryptic bullshxt.

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Its Only A Matter Of Time
Friday, January 02, 2009 11:26 pm
 
and I'm lost, in a stream, I need you to hold me,
I'm scared of lonely.
- Beyoncé, Scared Of Lonely
Many times, I felt this way. In fact, throughout the whole year of 2008, I always felt like I needed someone to be there for me. In a way, to hand-hold me, because even someone who isn't that dependent such as myself, needs to depend on someone.

I know its sounds pathetic. It gets even worst.

When you find yourself falling in love, you do all these crazy things so that karma will fall into your favour. Find that perfect someone and convince someone that you are indeed the right guy but you end up last, and make yourself feel useless, back to square one.

Lonely.

What do you do?

Try again? I did. Thrice. You'd think thrid time's a charm but it never worked.

So what's a guy, whose lost thrice, like me to do? Find someone awesome-r for me?

I thought to myself, why bother. If what you are doing to find someone good for you isn't working, maybe the formula isn't in what you are doing/have done, but its within yourself. Personally, for me, I took the time out to reflect and think.

Where did I go right, and when did I go wrong?

That was when I realised, I did do the right things but the wrong were my expectations. It's either I expected highly of results or... Expected anything at all.

The thing is, when we do something, it should come from our heart. Not because we have a hidden agenda. See, when you get someone a rose, it's not because you want her to appreciate it and keep it for life, eventually falling in love with you, but rather, it's because you know it will brighten up the day or make her feel special.

Material things are just material things if it doesn't come from the heart. Remember that.

Another thing I did wrong was that my expectations of someone that's good for me is too high. I always felt the need to have someone that's perfect and that suit my needs. I got a huge slap on my face because no one is perfect.

Even if its to your liking, and your liking is lower than the expectation of others.

Sometimes, we need to aim low to see the potential in others. It's true; you'll be surprised at what people can offer if you give them the chance to shine.

It's similar to underestimation. Even though you think that he isn't handsome, or she isn't beautiful... But trust me, the true qualities that you sought for will be evident and that itself becomes more of an important factor.

But really, what am I to do now?

Find someone else or try again for the fourth time?

My answer: Neither.

I wanna be me. And enjoy the time that I have as one person. Its true, and I'm not shy to admit it, I really want someone special in my life. But till that want becomes a need, I'll enjoy.

It might be the thrill of the chase you look for, or it might just be a guiding hand, but before you can make someone else happy, you have to make yourself happy. I'm quite happy. But for sure, I'll find my way to be happier.

With or without anyone special in my life.

I should stop preaching now.


----------------
Now playing: Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby
via FoxyTunes

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Ready
Sunday, December 28, 2008 11:14 pm
 
[ready.jpg]

Today I was recalled of something I learnt, which has been long forgotten. If I sit back and make excuses for the things I wish to accomplish, I will never accomplish them.

I took the first step by telling myself that I'm ready, to put the past in the past and move ahead with my life and strive what's really important to me: Me.

I don't want to constantly remind myself you're the best thing that has happened to me and yet I stay where I am, hopefully that things between us would get better but I was only fooling myself.

Indeed, you know I do, in fact, you're my friend, I'll always love you. But both time and motivation has proved to me that I'm not IN love with you. Not anymore. (Please note the difference, kay?)

I always thought that I needed someone who would be better than you, hopefully to fill the holes in my heart because when I was in love with you, I believed (or at least chose to) that you were the best I ever had, but no.

Today I realised the best person I have is me.

That was when I realised, I'm so over you, weeks ago. It's just there's a little part of me that tells me you'll be mine but it's time I face reality. You won't.

I wish you the best, and from the looks of it, you're happier now rather than when we were 'in the zone' of it all.

Whilst I continue to fix myself, I know that even after all the drama, you're still in my life. I want you to be happy with whomever you choose because ultimately, you'll always be a part of me.

I promise, to you, to my friends and to myself. I'm over you.

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Deep Inside
Tuesday, December 02, 2008 8:44 pm
 
My stomach isn't as big as it was when we first met.
You're bitchier ever since my bitchiness rubbed off on you.
My hands never shook so much upon saying goodbye.
You make me melt with everything that you do.

My cool and awesomeness show when I'm with you.
You don't know how much I shiver when I'm not.
My eyes seem to linger when you're missing.
You seem to run all day in my thoughts.

My thoughts go insane when you call.
You touch me and I come alive.
My head feels heaver when you're next to me.
You allow me to enjoy the moment that thrives.

My words jumble up when I nag at you.
You pretend to listen to my constant jabber.
My brains remember every word you say
You repeat a million times, I remember.

My oh my, in your arms I finally breathe
You slap my face to wake me up, hah!
My rhythm goes astray when you go.
You touch me and I feel like an inferno.

My heart thinks it is over you.
You think I am over you.
My heart still loves you.
You know that I will always do.

Oh, before I forget, happy one year, tomorrow. :)

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Had A Taste Of Perfection
Monday, October 20, 2008 7:48 pm
 
The start of a new semester scares me a little. The holidays were long and I wasn't in close proximity to datelines. The sudden realization that certain assignments are due in a week scares me though I should be prepared, this isn't my first day of poly, but just the first day of a new semester.

Insecurities still flood my mind. The trust between two friends, the feeling of loneliness within self (despite the many others that throng amongst you) and last but not the least, the visual aesthetics of myself.

I've an issue circling my head like how that moth that stays in your house that watches you sleep or the rapid growth of ants irritate your basic living style at home. It's when you trust your friend with something; then he breaks it. Or even worst, losing it.

While most argue one should just overlook the matter, I can't help but think both items that were entrusted with were irreplaceable; when you only borrow when you can trust. Being me, I'm very forgiving yet I would always have my doubts. I don't know what to call it, but contradiction might fit.

I've lost several items and true enough, the fault is mine; I'm too trusting. Personally I feel that basic responsibilities of borrowing is that you return. It might be late, early or on time, but the bottom line is that you return. My mum always say, "You need a system. After taking, return to the right place," and, "If you break it, at least don't wait till the last minute to tell me so."

And I learned both advices the hard way, nonetheless. I don't want the constant repetition of the problem yet I can't help it but expect that he would be better the next time. I can't help but be evasive and shrug at the thought of disappointment staring me at the face.

I trust my friends but I think it gets a little too far once things are broken or misplaced. Cherish, priceless items at that.

I can't seem to talk to him in person about this mainly because I don't want him staring back at me with disappointment. I have trust issues, major. It's like once you break the trust, you get chances but when the chances are spoiled, I can't help but look the other way.

I love my friends, it's just that I don't want to be disappointed again. And again.

Next in question is my independence. Though it doesn't scare me any more that I don't have any relationship issues; in short, I don't like anyone, it does scare me that I spend my late afternoons alone now.

Well, I have been, anyway.

The thought of used to having someone literally hold hand you all the way, to teach you the ropes and trying out different routines with a safety net was nice, but now that I'm more or less on my own way to make my own mistakes once again...

It feels new.

It feels refreshing.

It feels weird.

Though I must constantly argue with myself that the new shred of skin with independence is a bonus and as-a-matter-of-factly speaking, très bien, I do want to be alone in that sense, you know.

I just have to dig deeper within myself and do some more reflection about this matter. To be honest, I don't if it's a matter of being independent of finding someone as good as the last one. I'm such a mess.

Simply put, "how do I get better once I had the best?"

How do you get better? Do you just go with anyone or you try harder? All this questions and yet no answer. God, am I confusing myself?

The gasping of air for experimentation of looks is killing me. Constantly at that. Today I experimented my look with a plain purple t-shirt, polka dotted bag and the shoe that I designed and with that, complemented with grey shorts and geek chic glasses.

Though it has me believe that my style will constantly change and evolve, I can't help but notice the looks that I get when I dress up to express myself or just go crazy. People seem to not notice, or at least be okay with, "normal slacker" look.

If I dress like a slacker, people would pass as they look and just say, "does he have any friends?" But when you do try to dress up, the expletives will fly out of their mouths. Somehow looking nice for yourself is not acceptable if you don't look like others.

Eww. I shrivel at the thought of looking like someone else. It's disgusting. I just want to experiment my different looks and especially when you're in Poly, the best way to express yourself without speaking is what you put on your body.

So to those that think I dress crazily, you're right. I do dress that way. Nothing too outlandish, but something I deem classy is good enough for me.

I know, digressions are plenty, but I think I'm pretty clear on the three topics I'm talking about. LOL

----------------
Now playing: Katy Perry - Thinking of You
via FoxyTunes

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Sinaran Matahari
Tuesday, October 07, 2008 11:31 pm
 


you are my sunshine;
my only sunshine.
you make me happy,
when skies are grey.
you never know dear,
how much i love you.

dear God, please.
let me be with my sunshine.
regardless the situation.
please.


p/s: the photo is mine. nice right? (LOL.)


----------------
Now playing: Gym Class Heroes - Home
via FoxyTunes

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More Than You'll Ever Know
Thursday, September 11, 2008 11:14 pm
 
The nights get lonely
And all I have left is a memory of you
I tried to say this
But now there's nothing left for me to do
Miss your voice, and your touch
And if I told you I loved you could that be enough?

Tonight I'll stay home and miss you more than you'll ever know


Forget it. I change my mind. Damn my fickle-mindedness.

----------------
Now playing: Cinematic Sunrise - You Told Me You Loved Me
via FoxyTunes

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SoulMate
Sunday, September 07, 2008 9:40 pm
 
Editor's Note: I decided to reupdate, seemingly it looks like there should be images. Let's just say, this is my first photo essay. It has a meaning, but don't bother to look for it. If you know the meaning, keep it to yourself, if you don't it's alright. It's not a big deal. It's okay if you don't like the photos. Understandably, some of them are used, but it's just that... It still has meaning for me, you know? Again, it is mainly for me. :) Loves.

[23082008646th.jpg]
The lips can say a lot of things













[19072008340.jpg]
But the look in the eyes never lie.















[DSC07776.jpg]
And that's why I'm still in love.














Why yes, I have moved on.













[DSC07751.jpg]
But I guess I can't stop loving you.













[DSC01763.jpg]
Not now.













[27082008780.jpg]
Not ever.













[23082008668.jpg]
Goodnight.



----------------
Now playing: Ne-Yo - Closer
via FoxyTunes

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Membership
Tuesday, August 19, 2008 8:56 pm
 
I just joined Luqman's new club.

"I Moved On From You" Club.

DePoyster | a day to remember says: (7:53:58 PM)
Club Rule Numero Uno: Members are to not dwell on physical activities as well as past feelings. Things should be put aside and seen as a normal human gesture.
And I know there are many others that should join this club eh! Ahem, that girl who's from Business School, you should join eh. LUQMAN SAYS ITS BY INVITE ONLY. FROM HIM. HAHAHAHAHA!

Today, my day was such a downpour. I forgot to take my ezLink card from my Mummy after she topped it up for me. It was only when I got on the bus that I realised that I didn't bring it at all. I opened up my coin purse (yes, I use that instead of my wallet. It's thinner.) and I realised...

I DIDN'T HAVE ANY CASH AT ALL!

Not even five cents. I looked at the bus driver, "got note?" he asked. I just shurgged and apologise. By then he already drove away so I had no chance to alight. So I "hid" away from him to avoid the embarassment and stares he gave.

As much as I was thankful he didn't shoo me out of the bus, he gave me that, "WTF!" face. Sad.

In school today, it was slightly better. I had a two-hour lecture and I understood what was going on. After which, I went to study with Dominic at the TP school library. Luqman joined us slightly later.

Then we went for lunch and we talked about secondary school and how I met Luqman, which is rather LOLarious. Did I tell you guys how it went down?

Luqman was in BNSS (my secondary school) when he was secondary one. He moved while he was secondary two and went to Si Ling Sec. That was when I was in Band and I remembered how much it sucked. So he visited BNSS and we just met at the school canteen and we talked about band and he cared enough to listen.

I actually had no idea who he was. HAHA. So about a year or less later, he added me on MSN and I was like, "who the hell is this guy?" HAHA. I know, I'm so mean! LAWL. But Luqman and I eventually became great friends and now we're in the same course. So it's all good.

Anyway, we had to say goodbye to Luqman as he had a lecture. Dom and I decided to go to Parkway to window shop. Apparently Dom likes to calculate everything, then go home and plan what to buy, then go back to shop for real. Its a weird habit, but he has been doing it ever since I known him.

On the bus, I met bumped into my little bro, Ridhwan! It's been YEARS since I met him. We caught up each other things and it was really refreshing. I heard BNSS has a lot of changes. Well, that's rather trivial, so we'll wait for Teachers' Day. I also bumped into Shahirah. Long time never talk to her, you know.

I can't wait to go back to BNSS for Teacher's Day.

Anyway, Dom and I went around, and he said something about the size of my head. Or something about my weight. He's an ass, I know. It's a joke, so I didn't take it seriously, but I wanted something from him. I was like, "I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU, BUT I SMELL COOKIES." A hugely obvious hint that I wanted cookies. HAHA.

We ended up getting ice cream instead. Ahh, it was superbly nice. And as punishment, I picked lemon (amongst other four flavours), knowing how much he hates it. HAHA. I feel good about myself now.

I should really start revision now. I'm slowly slitting my wrists if I continue to be complacent!

Comment questions:
1) Will you be joining the club? If you could join, would you? Why? LAWL.
2) What's your shopping habit? Do you get things online, etc (I'm a super impulsive buyer)
3) What's your favourite flavour of ice cream?

The questions are random, I know. HAHA.

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Refresher
Monday, August 11, 2008 9:03 pm
 
When I see you, give me three minutes to sing this song to you.



I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours


I love you. That is all.

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Ask God, Please.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008 9:33 pm
 
I'm not happy on my 700th post.

I see myself curled up in my room thinking of what-used-to-bes. And the shittiest thing is that I have a fucking term test paper tomorrow. What's worst, I know I'm gonna flop computer maths. Why the fuck do we need to calculate it for? Congratulations. The invention of the computer is officially fucking irrelevant.

I'm sorry, I'm just emotional as of this moment.

So far in my life, nothing has been going rather pathetically. I can't wait for each day to pass and I feel like truly, there's nothing to do, nothing to prove and certainly... Nothing to wake up for every morning.

I find myself to be a mindless sheep. Waking up everyday so that it passes on faster. I seem to have stopped living for the moment. I miss the times when I wake up everyday just to do something for myself or to see someone special or to just... Enjoy.

But lately, all I can think about is how lousy things have been. You could say I have too much self-pity in my hands. I've no more smiles to share. I literally stone every single time, even during an engaging conversation.

Fuck this self-pity. I'm better than this. Wake up, Zul. Wake up!

Whatever, okay? Take it from me. If you really love someone, act fast. Declare your love. Be concise and explicit with your feelings. Do not be scared of what would happen after that because being scared will become a habit; one that you can't break.

If you love someone, declare yourself. And if that special someone understands you and feels the same way, then it's worth it.

I need to go study Computer Systems. I have a feeling I will fail. Hard. Especially when I can't copy off Bo.

Sorry, I interrupt this post for a very important and clearly, happy message.

FUCK IT! IT'S TIME TO CELEBRATE LIFE, BXTCH!

HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW THAT ALL YOUR FRIENDS FUCKING LEFT YOU!

I'M SO HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! :D

Call me a schadenfreude, but I just love seeing you suffer!

That's what you call KARMA, or DOLAT. Who was the backstabber first anyway? You backstabbed everyone, talked behind their backs. You deserve to be left by your friends, as a matter a fact, you shouldn't have any friends at all!

And I hope the girl who likes you knows that you will end up fucking her ass and then leave her. So please, to the girl that likes him, leave him. And so should everyone else.

Life is good, after all.






Now Listening: Beyonce - Irreplaceable

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Drowned
Tuesday, May 13, 2008 9:03 pm
 

That's what you get when you let your heart win.

In the words of Luqman, "Self-PWNED."

What do you think? When you're in love do you follow your heart or your mind?

Let me know. Because apparently for me, when I fall in love, I don't think. I just go with the flow because I feel good about myself, I feel empowered and I feel special but all this without thinking.

I dont think. I don't doubt. And I...

End up falling flat on my face.

So what do you think? Do YOU follow your heart of your mind? Be honest.

CLICK HERE AND ANSWER.

And here's to my 50th addition to my Destiny's Child CD collection.
[kellydeluxe.jpg]
Yes. Work it, Ms. Kelly Diva Deluxe.

By the way, don't wait. GO NOW and answer.

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Metaphors
Tuesday, March 11, 2008 8:40 pm
 
These days, I'm pretty much numb to love songs, becoming less emotional and more of a human being who is out to live his life. Listening to love songs with catchy tunes and meaningful lyrics don't move me any more.

I must admit, I don't want to love again. Well, at least not yet. It's not rejection I'm afraid of; I work quite well with that, but it's more of being lied to I just can't get over. To be lied to when you've given your all, I think back, and damn, maybe I shouldn't have given a part of my life away like that.

But I couldn't help it. I was in love. Again, for the second time, with someone who was never there. I've had sleepless nights, literally. I thought about the many things I could have done and the things I could have avoided.

Honestly, I love being in love but I guess it isn't right when that special someone is more in love with how you feel than with you.

Again, with the cliché Zul line: At least you learnt something, so that you can avoid such situations.

But the cliché seem to not work this time round or at least it did, to the worst extent. After weeks of arduously getting through the heartbreak and trying to live life as per normal, I find myself in a set of flings but not even once have I tried to move on ahead to say how I feel or even try to develop the feeling within me.

In time, I know I'll get better, but when?

Truth be told, I miss talking all night long on the phone, or waiting for that special someone to send me a message.

It has really come to a point where I am through with love. You know, "who needs a heart when a heart can be broken", "why be on top when it would hit harder when you fall?" That sort of thing.

I'll just be myself and by myself for the time being. I think it's better if I do me. At least I won't deliberately hurt myself, right?

This has been cheering me up big time. It's dirty, but keep an open mind and concentrate on the things she does and the things she says. It's a parody of Britney's I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman. HAHA.

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Aspiration
Monday, December 17, 2007 8:06 pm
 
Today, I went for lunch with Aini and Dominic at Bugis. It was fun but the thing I despise most is that they keep talking about topics like love and it bugged me like, a lot because I'm out of love (that poem was just a random thing) and I kinda know why I am aiming for already.

ASEXUALITY.
*Asexuality not in the terms that I do not like oompaloompas (heck, it looks fun LAWL!). I just don't want to be with anyone or be in a relationship as of this moment. Don't confuse yourselves, people.

Which got me thinking, is good for me. I hate falling in love because I end up disappointed and I really don't feel like being in any relationship. So if anyone asks if I'm heterosexual or homosexual, my answer would be neither.

So back to Aini and Dominic, they were talking to each other about topics that I find most stupid, of which is love. Seriously. She wants to be happy, he wants to the right girl, yadeyadeyada. Give it up already. I'm happy and I'm by myself.

Truth is, I like the fact that I'm single. I am free to roam, free to do as I wish. Just the other day a friend of mine whose girlfriend jumped on him because he took pictures with other girls. For something so petty? Oh well, glad I'm not on the same boat.

En route to the National Library, Dominic tells me, "don't be like that" (to being asexual). I'm like, "I'm through with everything and I can fly, fly, fly!" (quote exaggerated, of course) and at this time, the car just dashed right in front of me, a close shave, might I add at the traffic stop.

Right now as I think, "God's telling me not to give up". Perhaps.

Oh who gives a hoot.

In my mind right now, I'm contemplating to either go to a barbecue (BBQ) pit with my ex-classmates, 5B OR go shopping with the new cool cats I met at Singapore Polytechnic.

I thought that if I went to the BBQ, I technically get free food. I don't have to spend money just to eat a damn meal, considering I didn't eat enough food at the dinner and dance last Saturday due to the enthusiastic dance and hosting of the whole show.

Going to the BBQ also means I get to meet old friends of which I haven't been seeing since November 6th (the last day of the O levels for me) and well, it might be refreshing to just catch up on each others lives.

The downside of going to the BBQ is that I meet people I don't like. I publicly don't like that is. I don't want to mention names but if you read my blog religiously, you should know.

Regardless, I don't think I should avoid the whole event just because of two people, right?

Still, I don't know.

I like all my new friends. I really do. Well, technically, I'm only going out with one other new friend. Tomorrow, Aini, Dominic, Zachary and I are going shopping.

I don't know. My heart tells me shopping is more important because I haven't shopped with friends since the last time with Amber and Hamid. Hairul wants me to join the BBQ. So yeah. I'm in a dilemma. Especially when your BBFF and shopping are some of the most important things in your life.

I'll go with the flow. I might just drop by to show my face and then jet off to go shopping at Bugis Street or something. I don't know, we'll see how.

Oh and today we camwhored. YAY!
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Did I mention I look great with my new threads? And look. I don't look as fat next to Dominic!

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Little Miss BAD! BAD BAD BAD!

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In the loo. He just finished peeing. *thinks of Luqman's old address everytimeafteripee*

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Another mirror shot by the Old Chang Kee. Does anyone realise Chang Kee = Chunky?

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We look nice laa seh. :)
After window shopping at Bugis, we window shopped at Bedok!

Quite frankly, today is rather depressing. I topped up $5 on my EZ-link and now I'm left with only a few cents in it all because of that $2.50 Mcflurry with that strawberry chunks. AH! And you know what, like the caption of the last picture. WINDOW SHOPPED. HOW DEPRESSING IS THAT. TWICE, NOT ONCE, but TWICE.

The ridiculousity of it all (ridiculousity is ridiculously not a word, but it sounds nice) is that we went all the way to Bugis to have lunch. HAHA. It was nice laa, and cheap too!

I LOVE MUMMY!
Why? She knows I'm getting my pay late so she gives me $100 in advance for me to spend spend spend. I LOVE MY MUMMY.

You wanna call me a MUMMY'S BOY? Go ahead laa. I get the benefits anyway. And for your information, I'm not spoiled. Just pampered, okay. Pampered in a sense that I still have to pay the $100 back. If I don't have to pay, erm. Then and only then you can call me spoiled. HEHE.

Randomly, I asked Dominic to think of a post title (for this entry) and he came up with this, which I find it rather smart.

"Hope is the dream of a waking man"

I am a waking man, and my hope is...

I GO SHOPPING TOMORROW!


and I know for the few hundred thousands of those collecting your N level results tomorrow, all I have to say to you is...

HOPE FOR THE BEST
if you are a waking person and can't sleep tonight laa. :)

LOVES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

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For A Moment
Thursday, December 13, 2007 11:42 pm
 
For a moment I wished you were like me;
So I can hold your hand without a care in the world.
For a moment I wished we could be;
Because I compare you to diamonds and pearls.

For a moment I wished you were like me;
Give you kiss on the cheeks just because I feel like it.
For a moment I wished we could be;
Because for things like that, you can't explain the feeling.

For a moment I wished you were like me;
So I can stare deep in your eyes without reluctance.
For a moment I wished we could be;
Because with you, I only need one chance.

For a moment I wished you were like me;
Scream out loud and say that you love me.
For a moment I wished we could be;
I love you, and there's no better way to put it.

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Kekasih Gelapku
Wednesday, September 26, 2007 8:37 pm
 

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun

Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

Thanks Sak, for the translation. If y'all are curious enough to want to read it in English (especially my non-Malay readers), head on down to my Friendster blog. (I didn't even know I had one.)

Tiada sesiapapun yang memahami perasaanku, tiada sesiapa yang benar-benar memahami apa yang bermain di fikiranku. Ku cuba berpura-pura akanku biasa sahaja walaupun ku tahu ia bukan sedemikian. Ku meluahkan perasaanku, namun ku cuba menyembunikannya, menyebabkan ramai yang terpinga-pinga.

Adakala, ku tidak mahu disoal-tanya, ku mahukan jawapan. Seseorang yang mampu menjawab soalan-soalanku mengenai pelbagai perkara yang ku tidak fahami.

Ku rasa, apa yang terkata tidaklah melampau. Ku lebih senyap, tidaklah seramah seperti dahulu. Ku rasakan hatiku semakin lemas, sepertiku tidak mampu, tidak akan melupakanmu.

Tetapi ku terpaksa. Jika ku tidak mampu, ku hendaklah menguatkan semangat untuk melakukannya.

Ku mencintaimu. Lebih dari apa-apapun dalam dunia ini, lebih dari sesiapapun yang pernah ku jumpai. Gerak-gerimu memberi petanda bahawa ku patut melupakanmu dan mencari yang lain, tetapi, ku tetap teguh, tetap menginginkanmu mematah balik, mengata apa yang ku inginkanmu berkata. Ku mencintaiku dengan sepenuhnya namun tiada seorang pun yang benar-benar memahami perasaanku. Yang paling menyeramkan, adakala, ku tidak memahami diriku sendiri.

Hatiku retak seribu apabila engkau senyap dalam seribu bahasa.

Ku mencintaimu. Tetapi.. hasratku tidak akan tercapai, bukan?

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Unlove
Tuesday, September 25, 2007 8:48 pm
 

I can do most anything I have to
but I can't unlove you.

A million and one things ran through my mind as I hear that song. One, I know I have to get over it and two... I know I can't.

It's like you got a hold on me. I can't lie to myself and say, "I'll be on my own and I'm fine." I tried and I totally fell in a state of desperation and ambivalence.

I'm still in love with you, all these months and weeks, still wishing you were by my side once again. If there was anything that I could do to make you change everything, change your mind, tell me. I'll gladly do it.

Wholeheartedly, I want you back in my life. I don't care what status we're in, I just want you back here, like old times, when you would make me smile even when I'm in the pits of darkness.

Sometimes I put you first instead of myself and at times, I forget about my needs to cater to you. I don't expect anything in return but just to be treated with dignity and respect, just like how I treat you.

It used to be that our concern for each other was obvious but nowadays; so hard to see. We were so open last time to a lot of things others don't even know - till up to today. All of that change. Was I the cause?

If I was, then I'm sorry for that. Now I'm thinking, I shouldn't have been honest with you in the first place. Maybe I shouldn't have told you a single thing - but how can I not? At one point in time you were the closest thing I got and similarly, so was I to you. Nowadays, you're gone.

I can't even look at you because all you give is either a piercing stare or you don't even care at all. I want to know what goes on in your mystery. I used to do that easily - now I can't.

I miss you, and truly, I can't unlove you. Really, I can't.

I can't unlove you, can't do that
I'll never get through that
Why would i want to?

There's always time for other dreams
Why must we erase these things?

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Inconsolable
Friday, September 14, 2007 8:35 pm
 

The Backstreet Boys premiere their new video, Inconsolable. Watch it. The song is AMAZING.
I don’t want to be like this, I just want to let you know. Everything that I’m holding, is everything I can’t let go, can’t let go.


I hate the fact that nowadays you and I barely talk. Even when it comes down to talking, it's either A) bitching about someone you and/or I don't like or B) just crapping. I don't want that. That does not even matter. I'm not asking for a lot. I just want you back. The old you. The one that talks to me non-stop, the one who makes me so happy.

You yourself know how I feel for you and how much you mean to me. You know that I would go to the ends of Earth to have your wishes fulfilled. I know that you are my friend and all, if possible for life but there's a chance of you leaving me, for your new friends or whatever.

I don't want that to happen to us. You are someone I deeply treasure and God knows how much I've tried to let you see that. I don't know if you feel the same way but truth be told, I need you by my side. As a friend, a human being, and as someone I truly love.

I don't know if you know this is about you or even worst, if you don't even read this, I just want to tell you that I really love you. More than the first one, more than Voldermort. More than... Anything else. At first I thought that maybe my feelings for you were just infatuation but no, apparently it's more than that. Like I said, you know how I feel.

Perhaps find it in your heart to open up to me more. I promise, whatever you say, I shall keep it to just you and I. Just like we used to do.

Sometimes, I wish it was like last time. I could just tell you 'I miss you' or 'Sayang kau' without judgements, without doubts. Now things are just different. I'm not living in the past. Well, at least that's what I think.

It's amazing a song that I never bothered to even pay attention for five minutes - even when you told me to listen to - could explain everything how I feel for you.

I LOVE YOU
more than anything else

I don’t want to waste another day keeping it inside, it’s killing me. Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you. I wish that I could find the words to say, I would tell you every time you leave - I'm inconsolable.

I'll stop here. I know you don't like to read too much.

OFF TOPIC: I finished my preliminary examinations. O levels section will be up soon.

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Tell You
Saturday, August 25, 2007 7:30 pm
 
both sweaty and nervous just to hold my hand
thinking how the craziness all began
i love the way you make me smile when I frown
love the way you make my life turn upside down

you guide me in the dark, showing me the right way
knowing you want to marry me someday
i love the way you like things to go unplanned
i just love the way hand sweat when you hold my hand

[chorus]
can i...
tell you that i love you before things go wrong?
tell you that i love you, the feeling's damn strong.
tell you that i love you, no matter the consequence
tell you that i love you, there is never turning back.

tell you that i need you, can never let you go,
i stay by your side even if the sun dont show.
tell you that i need you, i don't want a substitute
baby, you my drug, forever addicted to you
just a song i wrote. :)
(p/s: im NOT in love. Well, i don't think so.)

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Guarantee
Tuesday, August 14, 2007 7:58 pm
 
(chorus)
Cos baby I miss you
The only person I ever want, is you
Can never let you go,
no matter what the others say
I ain't going no where.

And baby I need you,
night and day, everyday, I'll love you
And that's a promise
I'll guarantee if all relationship fail except one
that one will be ours.
And so, that is an excerpt from a song that I am currently writing, has a pop-feel to it, and I really like it. It's not about me, (please, I'm not in a relationship) I'm just inspired by a friend of mine and his girlfriend. The story is very sweet actually. Nonetheless...

I'm still not sure whether I should resit for my Malay paper. Oh dear, since I have to study for my Social Studies' test tomorrow, I shall think about the Malay paper after tomorrow.

Please take care people. And to guest, thank you for that comment. Seriously, I appreciate it (not that I agree, LOL) but obviously, in my heart...

HAHA.
And so, that was an

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