Thinking about my upcoming eighteenth birthday, it was only recently that I thought about reminiscing instead of just planning parties and going out to have fun. The idea of looking back is to be reminded of the good times, to be reminding that the lessons learnt are good, never bad regardless of how messy the situation might be.


I was told I was a big baby. Wow, isn't that a surprise. Weighing 3.54 kilograms when I was born, I really didn't think I'd last this long. As a kid, supposedly I was living in Yishun (up north, if you don't know) and go to school in the east at Eunos Primary. When I tell people the story of my childhood, they began asking questions, "how come so far?"


When I grew older a bit, I didn't live with my parents. Sadly. It was alright though. I lived with my late grandmother, and from there I think it was where the eccentricity came from. I lived with a crazy uncle and his sister, along with my grandfather. They took me in since I was in nursery all the way up to primary two, in 1998. (I don't recall the year, but Mum insist she remembers everything.)


But I was lucky though. Even before moving, Mum and Dad always made it a point to bring sis and I out to places like Haw Par Villa. It was for them to remind me that they still care even though they were so far away.


The house at Yishun was ever so cozy. It was a three-room flat but it was spacious. Regardless, whenever sis and I slept over at Yishun, we'd share the same bed. I remembered having my very own personal space at the balcony. It had a swing and I'd sit on it just to think about stuff, kid stuff of course. When you're a kid, you only think of fun and craziness. No kind of drama here.


Mum would always spend money on me. Clothes, toys, computer. But one thing she didn't do was to spoil me. Every time I wanted something, she would tell me, "I have no money. Sorry." I would get upset but not to the point of throwing a tantrum. I admit, as a child, I have said the most mean thing,

"Parents lie. They have a lot of money. They are just selfish."

Still up till today, I regret saying that (perhaps the only thing I'm regretful of) because as a kid, what totally left me grounded was that I picked up my mum's wallet, open it up and really saw no money inside. Only coins. From then on, I just decided not to be a spoilt brat. I just asked for a Happy Meal. It was cheap and I got a free toy.

Even up till today, I sometimes dare not ask for money to go out. That's why sometimes I go out cashless.

Mum and Dad decided to move to Bedok Reservoir in 1998 so that they could live with us instead of us having to switch schools. Mum was also working in Kallang and Dad had to come back and forth to the airport, so moving was a smart move.


I remembered when 2000 came and I was sitting in the kitchen at midnight alone. Mum was working, Dad was working too and sis was fast asleep. I couldn't sleep because I believed rumours that the world was ending at the stroke of midnight, unknowingly a party was going on less than 20 kilometers away. Kids believe everything you tell them.


When secondary school started in 2003, honestly, I was psyched! I was so excited and so ready to meet new people. There was something about my friends in primary school that made me so evasive when I see them in public. Perhaps I wasn't treated the best when I'm there, but when in primary school and you're different, you're bound to have people poking sticks at you.

Still, I made quite a bunch of friends. Most of them taught me life lessons, never to trust them again. I'm lucky in the sense that even at a tender age of thirteen, I was still able to take life lessons and learn from it - then move on.


Still lucky, I met two of my closest best friends there, at orientation camp. Hairul and Amber. Both of which I share particularly crazy memories with even at the very first day. With Amber though, it wasn't really crazy, it was just that we clicked the very moment we spoke to each other. With Hairul however, ask me on msn. HAHA. I blogged about it but I can't seem to find that post.

In 2003, if you don't know, I stupidly enrolled myself in Band and the following year, I found love in Drama club. Be ready for the next photo because I think you're gonna pee in your pants.


Whoever said I loved make-up is a liar. I fxckingly hate make-up. I love theater, but I'm no Chinese opera. Still, (like in 2003) life was never ending with drama (as in real life drama, not the CCA) and people were still dogging me out. In 2005, I found the friends that I actually thought I would keep for the rest of my life.


They were really a great bunch of people. They were just the five of them and they decided to take me in. Don't ask me how it really began because I myself can't picture it. One thing led to another and I told myself to get to a point whereby I get close to each and everyone of them.

I guess I was successful. However, it was something that made everything crack. Surprisingly, it was me. However, it was someone else in the group that made the crack simply... Suicidal. Still, up till today, I can't change the fact that they were some great people.

I am still BBFFs with Hairul even through all the drama, no worries. I told you I was lucky.

I could have written so many things if I was given another hour or so, but I have basically given away a gist of my life. For about 18 years, I've learnt the true meaning of friendship, trust and self-esteem. I didn't write much about the latter, but let me tell you, I was also afraid of the camera in the past. So scared, all because I...

Didn't know how to smile.

Still, I was, am, and always will be lucky. I don't know if I should credit it all to luck, because for most of the good things that happened, I worked for it. Luck has just made it seemed that what I worked for materialized.

God will never give you what you cannot handle. Through out all the drama that I faced since I was a kid, God gave me one hell of a challenge. I'm lucky in the sense that I have wonderful friends, after shooting all the ones that really made my life hell, and shooting the ones that I really couldn't trust. As for family, I'm lucky, in the sense that I learnt so many valuable things and many times I made mistakes but my family always gives me a chance although they are the type to make you feel guilty regardless.

Turning eighteen doesn't make me feel more of a man. It just means that I lived for eighteen years. And that I can enter clubs. But still, I think I've achieved far more than any other boy my age has. Experience, to me, makes me know that I am a man.

When I was a kid, I was never told I couldn't do any specific thing. That's why when I was growing up, I believed that I could do whatever the hell I want. That's when I realized that for me, the sky wasn't the limit. I have no limits. (and I mean the good type of 'no limits'.)

I can't really blame it on luck. God just has a thing for me. I guess when you work, He rewards.

This is by far the most personal and most indepth post for me. My birthday is coming soon. A post dedicated to me is I think the best way to go. :) For a deeper post, let's wait three more years. Goodnight loves.

P/S: this year, gifts are not important. I really just wanna spend time with the ones I love. If I tell you I want to go out with you, that means I really love you. It isn't a compulsion for you to go, but just know that you have a special place in my heart, regardless what you bring on my eighteenth.

P/M/S: if you do have a lot of money to spare, this is the post to look for. CLICK. Btw, I already have a Rubik's Snake.

Labels: Birthdays, Dedication