A moment of silence while I collect my thoughts into one jumbo piece of blog post. Lately, my thoughts have been messy, unclassified and very very confusing, with the large about on stress from school, people around me and and and... who else but myself, I am concluded that I am, yes indeed, crazy.

I am not emo. I am a person who has a terrible technique of suppressing anger, emotions and yes I do have mood swings. I am not emo extremist because I do not slash myself and making myself look like a complete idiot. If I had to choose a mental illness, it wouldn't be suicidal thoughts. (It will probably be bulimia or something, but I don't have that!)

Last week, there was a horrible picture of this guy with no face on the front page at the the small little corner of the HOME section of The Straits Times, and who was it? Paul Twohill! No, I am not his biggest fan, nor am I a fan, (in contrast to this post), I just liked him. Basically, the whole report was just horrible.

It talked about kids who slash themselves. Ultimate stupidity.

I heard of this chick. She was so in love with this guy that he got with her because she sort of slashed herself on her chest and blood was flowing everywhere on her shirt and out of pity the guy accepted her.

Now, this might be harsh, but people who slash themselves, wrists, wherever, don't matter, should not be given pity. They are just bastards who cannot channel their emotions properly that they think they have to "feel pain" and eventually "be set free" from the madness of the world.

Be set free? Stupid or what? Emos who cut themselves should be sent to Woodbridge because slashing yourself, is a mental condition.

What I notice is that at first, it's a sort of trend. Then slowly, but surely, it becomes a cycle and it triggers the addiction part of the brain and slashing (or self-mutilation, I shall use that from now on) becomes a way to get a daily dose and "be set free", so to speak.

"Zul! Addiction, you say?" Yes I did. It is similar to a person who is addicted to drugs, sex or alcohol. It's the same. You can't live without self-mutilation, but irony of it is, you're gonna die from it too, just like drugs, sex and alcohol.

One thing is different though. You are able to use your own body to mutilate yourself. You (so called) don't need a medium. What do I mean by medium? Okay, sex. You need a partner. Without a partner, no sex. Drinking; you need alcohol. No beer? Too bad. So a sex partner or beer is a medium. But for self-mutilation, they sometimes grow long fingernails and scratch their arms till they bleed and even when it bleeds, they keep on scratching anyways.

The excuse. "I'm stressed, that's why I slash." Lalala... I'm stressed too but I learn how to control it. You got to learn that self-mutilation does not remove the stress away, in fact, it bring unnecessary stress. You're so stressed from school work, so you mutilate yourself. Then your mum sees it. Now it's a whole other story.

Stress is now an excuse. It's no longer something you go through. Really. It's an excuse to get people to shut up when they ask you what is going on in your life. Fact is, it's not gonna chase your problems away. I repeat. Self-mutilation does not eradicate stress. It brings even more stress.

The growing number of emo kids are becoming a concern, because they are getting the concept of being emo wrong. Emo is being angry; being sad; being... Emotional. It's not about hurting yourself. I can't point fingers and say, oh, bands are to blame for it, but they do write songs that say, "watch me bleed" and this is taken literally. It's a metaphor, people. Not a dumbass command!

This is also what I mean by Singaporeans youths getting more stupid as the minutes pass. They make up more excuses. I bet one kid's gonna say this when he is caught mutilating himself.

"The mamak shop at the void deck closed and I'm stressed about it. Now I have to walk all the way to 7-Eleven."

I am worried that the suicide rate of youths will go up. It's possible. It's something we have to eradicate and we can't procrastinate about it. We got to do it now.

My opinion of a real emo, is listed as follows; being angry, sad and emotional. Not hurting yourself. It's a whole different meaning and the misconception of emo is making it seem that this concept is wrong. I don't believe in a concept being wrong until their message is received the wrong way. It's a whole ice block of confusion but long story short, people get the idea of emo wrong. That is what I mean by emo extremist, take it the wrong way and they get up all in your face about it.

Labels: Current Events, Deep Thoughts