You.
I was listening to the radio in the car when they played this song. (Yes, I know it's old, and) I can't really dig deep into the song but some lines and the chorus says a lot.
"I'm not a perfect person; There's many things I wished I didn't do." Ah, yes. Its true. I have done many things. Things that I was never proud of, but did it anyway. I kept thinking though. If I didn't do things like that, I would have not known how it would feel or I'll be questioning myself how does it feel.
But when it reached the chorus, it hit me like a jolt.
I found a reason for me to change who I used to be;
A reason to start over new, and the reason is you.
To you. Maybe it's true. I may never have my chance with you, but I do have to change myself because of you. You opened my eyes to many things and I shall do what I promised you - change. Or at least try. Knowing you and many of my friends will be there to help me, I feel there's a chance, to put the past in the past and live in the future with peace in my mind.
I have to admit though. I'm still in love with you. No denying it. Things are still on my mind and I don't know when this change can start. Till I jump on it, I need you. BAHHH.
I'm gonna try going to the beach tomorrow with myself, maybe. Just to clear my thoughts and to talk to myself. I really need it and only I can help me. I want to leave the hectic world for awhile and really clear my mind from A to Z. Till then, I'm still crazily in love.