I can't remember the last time I was in a competition. When I was really young, I joined a singing competition and I won. I remembered how much I wanted to beat that kid who sang Beatles. And me, singing a sappy song by Siti Nurhaliza.
I won.
And every year in Secondary school, every year, I participated in at least 2 competitions. I had a feeling deep inside that I liked winning, being the best. The feeling of winning of winning was always euphoric deep inside.
Now I'm in Poly. There was only two competitions that I participated in. Dragonboat and debate. That's it. I never realised how little I put my hand at things.
Then I realised, everyday is a competition. To look at things in a wider angle, being better than your classmates is a competition. Being better than whomever, is a competition itself. It doesn't necessarily need a sign-up sheet.
Competition for one's feeling is tedious, and hectic. I hate it. But I like you. And I don't expect a throwdown, but if I have to, I will.
Even though it seems like I'm competeting with someone who is just playing with your heart or just someone who would fuck and run, it would take a lot of me to convince you still because somehow, along the way, your feelings are still with him.
Maybe he came around first. Maybe he said hello first. But will he last, that is a question of which the answer is never sure.
I like you. I really really do. And I always win competitions. Trust.